I’m over the identity crisis

I’ve recovered from the questioning that was going on in my head last week. The comments on my blog last week as well as the link Sheila (Idaho Beauty) https://idahobeautyquilts.blogspot.com/ sent to me of an artist and his comments about the things I was struggling with were very helpful. https://www.danielsroka.com/blog/reflecting-on-a-bad-review/ 

In addition an artist I admire sent out her weekly email about imposter syndrome. She does a lot of questioning as well. So I felt like I was in good company with my struggles. The other thing that pretty much ensured I was over this identity crisis was finding out what the recycle show themes are going to be for the next 2 years. It’s Dreamworld for 2024 and Outer Limits for 2025. So my brain kicked in and I started to think about what I could do for those themes. I don’t have solutions yet, but my inner artist is already planning. If I was going back to doing traditional quilts I certainly would not have gotten excited about the possibilities for these themes. What recycled materials to use and how to represent those themes is already on my mind.

I did get more buildings stitched for the Boston quilt this week.  I have 12 done now. I took the large blue brownstone on the left side off and tried to make sure all the tiny pieces were lined up correctly and I got bogged down when things were not going well. Things did not seem to be lining up properly and it was fighting me even though I told it to behave. I even began to question how I made some of the details. I got the original photo out and really worked on something that was bothering me. I have now worked it out and will sketch the changes on the pattern on Sunday.  Then I will fix it this week. It was hard to determine what was going on in the large pixelated photo. But now I think I have it.  

We have the NYC St. Patrick’s parade tomorrow so I’m away this weekend. The weather should be beautiful for it. 

One last note…I do what I do for myself, but I won’t deny that it’s great to get some acknowledgment of it. It would be the icing on the cake to win, but not winning is not going to stop me from doing what I love to do. It’s like getting great student reviews and a national teaching award when I was teaching. I would have loved teaching regardless. Even with all of those awards I did take any criticism too much to heart. That stems from my childhood. My mother hated and insulted a gift I gave her as a child and she made me return it to the store. It was just a cheap bottle of perfume in a bottle shaped like a lamp. As a kid I thought it was great. She did not! Once I began making quilts I made  plenty of them for her, but I was never sure she liked what I made. It didn’t stop me from making them, however.   I guess I was looking for her approval or to “win the prize.”

Thanks for reading. Linking to Nina-Marie. https://ninamariesayre.blogspot.com/

Chris